12 in 13: February (also NICARAGUA!!!!)

Hello all,

Sorry it's been awhile since I've blogged. I came back to DU (University of Denver) the 2nd week of January, and life really hasn't slowed down since. (I'm taking 19 hours of pure math and science, so I'm basically just trying to stay afloat...) 

Things like this are just happening more and more...

and it's so awesome. 

Last month ("Striving Towards Simplicity") was super beneficial to my journey. It was a great way to start off my year of "betterment," and it felt SO good to get rid of a lot of clothing. 

Like really guys, SO MANY CLOTHES...

and I even ended up giving away more than this.. :/ BUT it's been so good for me to realize how little I need, and how blessed I am. Also, I love that I'm learning to appreciate my resources and take time to determine whether I really need something before I buy it. It's made Luke 12:28 come alive for me- But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith! It has reminded me not to worry about clothing, or anything else for that matter, and to instead rely on my faithful Father. But since I'm trying to completely completely transparent with you guys, I have failed miserably at this these past few weeks. And that's completely okay.

SO January = eyeopening, a lot of adjusting, fun, and lots of work . And so far, February = hard, fun, stressful, full of love and laughter, and hard. I decided back in January that February's theme is "Falling in Love with Myself," and now that I'm amidst this month, I totally see how God is going to use this theme to change my life. He's probably not going to do it all in a month, but He is completely turning my life upside down and breaking me and confusing me. Which are things that I know are going to lead to great things later.. but that just doesn't change the fact that this has already been one of the hardest months of my life, and it's only beginning. I wish I could tell you that I'm seeing purpose and hope throughout all of it, but I just can't. What I can say is this: that I'm choosing to believe, despite how I'm feeling and how things are looking, that ultimately I serve a God who is full of purpose and hope and love. I believe He is here with me and will remain faithful, even if it doesn't always seem so. 

As far as the rest of this month goes, I guess it's going to be a lot of prayer, truth seeking, crying, and vulnerability. I really am trying to focus on what God says about me and viewing that as the truth in my life instead of the lies I am constantly being exposed to. If y'all have any verses focused on any of this, PLEASE share them with me in the comments below.. I would absolutely love to hear what God has placed on your heart :)

OKAY now onto a new, so much better topic. 

Guys, I'm definitely going to Nicaragua for almost TWO MONTHS this summer. 

Yes. I'm serious.

Yes. I'm insanely excited.

Yes. This is the only thing that is currently keeping me sane. I cannot even explain how thankful I am that God opened the doors for me to serve in Nica with my family, the Gibsons, and Project H.O.P.E. (check out my aunt, Kari's blog here, check out my FIRST GUEST POST on her blog here, and check out Project H.O.P.E ministries here.) And wow did God open the doors! The story is way cool, but I'm not going to share the whole thing right now.. maybe another time.. (or just ask me if you're really dying to know haha). 

In Nicaragua, I'm going to be staying at the Project H.O.P.E. campus loving big on orphans, helping out their full time doctor, Dr. Melba, and just living my adventure that is life-- falling in love with Jesus and encouraging others to do the same. I'm entirely overwhelmed by my God's faithfulness to giving me the true desires of my heart, even if it means breaking me and shaping me into more of His beautiful creation. He's awesome, and I'm so excited to see what He's going to do this month, and the months leading up to June 12th--my official day of departure :)

Thanks for reading. Thanks for sharing my pain, my joy, my laughter, my awkardness, and, most of all, my passionate love,

Tay 

1 Corinthians 10:13 #love

And in honor of the beautiful snow that has just started falling outside of my dorm room window: